My family and I recently attended mass and unlike usual we were not sitting in our typical parent/child, parent/child fashion. I was fortunate to be sitting next to my husband. Our youngest child was the farthest away from us and she was sitting between her older sister and another woman. The woman next to her appeared to be in her 50s, maybe older, and she was wearing a scarf on her head. She appeared to be healthy, but I couldn't help but wonder if she was ill.
The mass proceeded and as customary we hold hands as a family when praying the Lord's Prayer. Interestingly, I usually find myself glancing around us to see who else does the same. I always wonder if the stranger next to us would want me to hold their hand? Or why isn't the husband and wife in front of us doing the same? Or sadly, why isn't the family behind practicing this small guesture of love?
During this particular mass I glanced down my "row" of children to notice my youngest child was holding the hand of the woman next to her. My daughter glanced at me with a questioning look - this is okay isn't it Mom? I smiled to reassure her and I was filled with joy that she was willing to share this guesture of love with a stranger.
At conclusion of the mass, the woman approached my husband and I and she explained that she was truly blessed by my daughter's guesture of love. She said her children were grown and no longer at home and she had long forgotten how small and wonderful a child's hand can be. She went on to explain further that during the Sign of Peace, my daughter pursed her lips as if to offer her a kiss (another family habit) and the woman allowed her to give her a small peck on the cheek. The woman thanked my husband and I and told us she felt truly blessed. She proclaimed it was the best thing that could happen to her today. My husband and I smiled and said a few simple words not knowing what else to say. I squeezed my daughter in loving approval.
The more I thought about my daughter's guestures, the more I was filled with joy, and the more I realized her simple guestures were the work of GOD's hands. GOD provided the stranger with the love and reassurance she needed and my daughter was the vessel of his love.
As a parent raising children success can be defined in many ways, but to see your children giving their love freely to others is the best gift of all - a gift of GOD.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Monday, September 29, 2008
On-Ramping
A recent article in local magazine discussed the "on-ramping" principle. On-ramping is defined as "a path into the work force for someone who has taken time out and is seeking to get back in." For women who have been out of the work force more than 10 years it is difficult to return due to the lack of "marketable" skills or loss of skills that were once useful to the working world. However, after much thought I have concluded that the stay-home mother has a bag full of marketable skills - skills that are useful in any field. These skills include:
patience - wash the clothes, prepare the dinner, mow the lawn, clean the windows, paint a room, clean out a closet, paint a deck - all very feasible projects for a SH mom to undertake, but projects that invariably may be left hanging or suspended all because, "I want some juice please" or "I'm hungry." It takes patience to realize everything will take longer when you have little ones around and some things may never get completed, but that's okay!
flexibility - I'm not talking about gymnastic flexibility, although you may feel like you need to be gymnast sometimes, but the ability to "go with the flow." We all know what it requires to get a preschooler anywhere - they have their own agenda, their own ideas (NO, I doed it!), and their own opinion! Flexibility goes hand-in-hand with patience, because sometimes it is easier to abandon the ship than to fight the war. All the home chores can wait till another day, but priceless moments with little ones don't always remain.
negotiation - this is the ability to redirect the most determined firecracker from one task to another or to remove them from the pool because their skin has aged a mere 70 years based on the appearance of their wrinkly fingers. It's the sweet talking ability to convince them that lollipops are not a breakfast food and tank tops should not be worn when it is 30 degrees outside.
delegation - when the going gets tough and the troops have waged an all out war against each other, it's time to pull out the weapons of delegation.
Child Number 1, "You go collect the garbage and put it out by the street."
Child Number 2, "You go unload the dishwasher and reload it with the dirty dishes."
Child Number 3, "You go get the clothes out of the dryer, fold them, and put them away."
Child Number 4, "You go get the dirty clothes, sort them, and put them to wash."
"And when you get done with all that come back because I have more where that came from!" Oh the peacefulness of kiddos at work, it does the job everytime!
multitask master - the ability to talk on the phone, cook breakfast, give directions to a child (in sign language no doubt because remember you are on the phone), feed the dog, and enjoy your morning cup of hot java. The ability to make a loop through the house, cleaning up along the way, sending an email, reading a book to your child, and returning to the origianl chore that sent you on the loop in the first place .
I dare to ask what employee would not find these marketable, useful skills? Mix these with the experience of age and I think any SHM can be a valuable, competent, contributing member of any work force.
patience - wash the clothes, prepare the dinner, mow the lawn, clean the windows, paint a room, clean out a closet, paint a deck - all very feasible projects for a SH mom to undertake, but projects that invariably may be left hanging or suspended all because, "I want some juice please" or "I'm hungry." It takes patience to realize everything will take longer when you have little ones around and some things may never get completed, but that's okay!
flexibility - I'm not talking about gymnastic flexibility, although you may feel like you need to be gymnast sometimes, but the ability to "go with the flow." We all know what it requires to get a preschooler anywhere - they have their own agenda, their own ideas (NO, I doed it!), and their own opinion! Flexibility goes hand-in-hand with patience, because sometimes it is easier to abandon the ship than to fight the war. All the home chores can wait till another day, but priceless moments with little ones don't always remain.
negotiation - this is the ability to redirect the most determined firecracker from one task to another or to remove them from the pool because their skin has aged a mere 70 years based on the appearance of their wrinkly fingers. It's the sweet talking ability to convince them that lollipops are not a breakfast food and tank tops should not be worn when it is 30 degrees outside.
delegation - when the going gets tough and the troops have waged an all out war against each other, it's time to pull out the weapons of delegation.
Child Number 1, "You go collect the garbage and put it out by the street."
Child Number 2, "You go unload the dishwasher and reload it with the dirty dishes."
Child Number 3, "You go get the clothes out of the dryer, fold them, and put them away."
Child Number 4, "You go get the dirty clothes, sort them, and put them to wash."
"And when you get done with all that come back because I have more where that came from!" Oh the peacefulness of kiddos at work, it does the job everytime!
multitask master - the ability to talk on the phone, cook breakfast, give directions to a child (in sign language no doubt because remember you are on the phone), feed the dog, and enjoy your morning cup of hot java. The ability to make a loop through the house, cleaning up along the way, sending an email, reading a book to your child, and returning to the origianl chore that sent you on the loop in the first place .
I dare to ask what employee would not find these marketable, useful skills? Mix these with the experience of age and I think any SHM can be a valuable, competent, contributing member of any work force.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
If You Let a Wallace Watch a Movie
If you give the Wallace crew the "okay" to watch a movie, it's going to take forever to make a choice. KtB wants adventure and suspense, CT wants comedy and laughter, Manytory wants romance and the life of a queen, and EmmyLou wants to watch Barbie Island Princess again and again and again.
Once the movie has been chosen, the DVD player started, the previews skipped, and the action packed drama has begun, then they're ging to ask for a soda.
So they'll pause the movie as they hunt for their favorite drinking cups.
"I want the pink princess cup with the purple straw," Mandytory proclaims.
"Bob the Builder?" KtB huffs with hands on her hips, right foot poised, and a full head bobble.
Oh boy, here we go!
So if you give them a soda, they're going to need a top and straw, an impossible feat to find in the cavernous depths of the kitchen junk drawer.
But, once the beverages have been poured, the cups properly sealed with their tops and straws, and the movie resumed, FINALLY I sit down to watch the movie holding my breath waiting . . . . waiting . . . .
"Mom, can we have some popcorn?" The next question I dreadfully await.
Once again they pause the movie as the hunt for the popcorn popper, measuring cup, oil and popcorn kernels begins. No microwave fancy stuff for us, but the old fashioned style prepared on the stove.
Once the movie has been chosen, the DVD player started, the previews skipped, and the action packed drama has begun, then they're ging to ask for a soda.
So they'll pause the movie as they hunt for their favorite drinking cups.
"I want the pink princess cup with the purple straw," Mandytory proclaims.
"That's mine!" EmmyLou shrieks.
"I don't want the Rugrats cup! It's for babies!" CT bluntly states."Bob the Builder?" KtB huffs with hands on her hips, right foot poised, and a full head bobble.
Oh boy, here we go!
So if you give them a soda, they're going to need a top and straw, an impossible feat to find in the cavernous depths of the kitchen junk drawer.
But, once the beverages have been poured, the cups properly sealed with their tops and straws, and the movie resumed, FINALLY I sit down to watch the movie holding my breath waiting . . . . waiting . . . .
"Mom, can we have some popcorn?" The next question I dreadfully await.
Once again they pause the movie as the hunt for the popcorn popper, measuring cup, oil and popcorn kernels begins. No microwave fancy stuff for us, but the old fashioned style prepared on the stove.
If you make popcorn the old fashioned way, they're all going to want to help turn the crank.
So each one will take a spin while the rest hunt for the perfect, popcorn bowl.
Once again I'll need to mediate a debate because, "I want the blue one."
"You had that one last time. It's my turn!"
Oh the joys of watching a movie!
So once the popcorn has finally been popped and distributed to everyones favorite bowl, then they're going to want to spread a blanket on the floor. What would a movie be without a popcorn picnic?
So they'll find the perfect blanket, large enough for all, spread it on the floor, jockey for the best spot, situate that popcorn and drink, and FINALLY once again resume the movie!
At last, I sit down with my own popcorn picnic and a sigh of relief. Who needs previews when there is the great popcorn, soda debate?
So next time you give the Wallace crew the "okay" to watch a movie be prepared for the popcorn, soda debate.
Note: I fashioned this story after one of our favorite books If You Give a Mouse a Cookie written by Laura Numeroff. At each request to watch a movie, I jokingly started saying, "If you let a Wallace watch a movie, . . . " and the story remains!Saturday, August 9, 2008
Da Dee Dum
"Do the Da Dee Dum," EmmyLou proclaimed one night. After a puzzled look and a few minutes I finally understood what she wanted. Da Dee Dum is the lullaby I sing every night. You know the one - "Lullaby, and good night, go to sleep little baby, . ., " except I don't know all the words so I sing the verses as "Da Dee Dum, Da Dee Dum, Da Dee Dum Dum, Dee Dum Dum," thus EmmyLou's song Da Dee Dum. She has very specific requests for the Da Dee Dum! "NO, on you lap," she proclaims whenever I try to speed the process up. Being a creature of habit, her bedtime routine has to be exactly the same each evening - Da Dee Dum, prayer, kisses, hugs, cover me up, and one more kiss for good measure.
Sadly with my older children I would have quickly brushed off a request to linger a little longer at bed time. As most moms would agree, bedtime signals the end of the day and a chance to relax and recharge - my time! However, I savor these moments daily! The joys of preschool life are slipping away. Long gone will be the wonderful thoughts and conversations of literal logic, the Da Dee Dums, and other preschool quirks. Quietly, but slowly, the door to this part of motherhood is being closed. Filled with mixed emotions - sadness, happiness, fear - I realize the preschool life is familiar and comfortable to me, but its reign must end as I move forward to other stages in life - tweens, adolescence, etc. My journey with my last child will be long and varied as I hone my mothering skills, but a journey I am willing to experience.
For now, I'll take one more Da Dee Dum.
Sadly with my older children I would have quickly brushed off a request to linger a little longer at bed time. As most moms would agree, bedtime signals the end of the day and a chance to relax and recharge - my time! However, I savor these moments daily! The joys of preschool life are slipping away. Long gone will be the wonderful thoughts and conversations of literal logic, the Da Dee Dums, and other preschool quirks. Quietly, but slowly, the door to this part of motherhood is being closed. Filled with mixed emotions - sadness, happiness, fear - I realize the preschool life is familiar and comfortable to me, but its reign must end as I move forward to other stages in life - tweens, adolescence, etc. My journey with my last child will be long and varied as I hone my mothering skills, but a journey I am willing to experience.
For now, I'll take one more Da Dee Dum.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Green Eyed Monster
A seething, green-eyed monster haunts my mind. It creeps into my inner most thoughts planting seeds of doubt. It lurks in the dark and it gently, quietly fans my desires and ambitions back into the deepest, darkest corners. I struggle to squeeze past its grasp, but it never fails to restrain me. I try over and over to squelch its power, but those seeds of doubt pop up with every turn, preventing me from moving past the monster. Each day I frantically race to pull up the seeds, but one look behind me and the seeds have returned. I wallow in sorrow, feigning failure and lost hope. But finally, I strike an agreement with the monster. I am allowed to take one step forward, two steps back, one step forward, two steps back. I argue daily with my nasty companion, but we've forged a working relationship. Fortunately, I forgive myself for letting "it" inhabit my mind and I realize it will be a constant tenant. I prevail as I slip past its grip, if only for a little while. My seething, green-eyed monster goes by the name PERFECTION and PROCRASTINATION. Who else is to blame for my seemingly relaxed, laissez faire ways? The "Not-Me" Ghost? No, just me, myself and I mixed with a dose of PERFECTION and PROCRASTINATION!!
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